Thought

Purpose

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My hefty eyelids struggled to unlatch as if they were locked shut without a key nor pick in sight.

As they finally managed to open, I found myself lying in a desolate dark beach with the sky above, completely devoid of light.

I gasp for oxygen and cry like a new born babe just given life. I shove my fists into the sand below me attempting to stand, the coarse grains of black as onyx gathering in my fingers as I clutch tight.

Stranded alone in a barren wasteland shrouded in tragedy, I roar my feelings of despair into the palms of my hand and collapse back to ground due to lack of might,

Suddenly, I hear sound faint at first, then quickly increasing in increments like a thousand buzzing bees beginning to take flight.

A shimmering dark-blue radiance then appears like a nuclear explosion enveloping everything my eyes I can see in a glowing cobalt hue, with a tinge of white.

 I marvel in its luminescent beauty as it brought me out of oblivion, out of eternal darkness itself, it gives me solace, it gives me purpose it gives me the strength to fight.

I rise like a pluming flame ravenously feeding off vast vegetation as it grows stronger throughout the night.

I stagger shiftlessly towards my only friend, the matrix of my departure from stagnation, the end of the beginning, the beginning of the end, the future is not written in stone, and I will have my own future to write.

My own soul that shines bright, my own story to tell, my own destiny to be made, my own to lovers to delight, my own sacrifices to sell, my own memories to fade, and my own beliefs that I must create in my own rite.

I run through the shallow shores still searching for the source of light wading through the waters free of worry, free of my own control, free of fright.

The dazzling radiance guides me into the center of the ocean, a blue orb awaits me there twinkling like a tiny star at my height.

It gently descends into my hands like a fluttering feather spiraling from left, to right.

I feel the orb’s warmth resonate throughout my being, its familiar heat evokes a nostalgic presence within me, making my own soul ignite.

These are my past lives, my experiences over a millennia that has given me so much insight.

My thoughts begin to orbit around within my own psyche like a satellite, my body begins to radiate its own heat, I can feel blood in my veins, I can feel my increasing body’s Fahrenheit.

Without my past, without my purpose, without my light, I am but a shallow husk of the fruit that I was destined to be, my roots affect by the blight, but I mast save my destiny just as a princess is always rescued by a knight.

Stars

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Dazzling stars scattered across the universe radiate throughout the night sky,

like wandering souls wading in a pitch-black river of a million streams.

Light illuminates more brilliantly when the enthralling darkness is in constant supply,

and just as the enigmatic universe outside our perception bares a myriad of wonders, life is never what it seems.

We wish upon a falling star, and in the back of our minds we wonder why,

we place our hope on a fleeting meteor so it may carry out our dreams.

But to reach our goals we must do more, we must believe in ourselves, we must try.

We must fight, we must persevere, we must work so arduous that we tear reality itself at the seams.

To make our aspirations come true, it’s do or die, don’t succumb to fear, don’t be shy, “a life without living is not a life at all,” that’s words to live by.

But not everyone’s destiny can come to fruition as a person’s mission to success is built on a thousand other people’s screams.

The world is filled with monsters commonly known as humans, not all our crowns make us kings, not all of our voices make us sing, and not all of our wings are made to fly.

A conqueror reigns supreme, deems what is history, what is good and evil, they separate us as if we are different teams.

We kill each other believing in one person’s truth while following another person’s lie

and in the end, we all fall into the conqueror’s schemes.

Dazzling stars littered across the night sky like roaming souls lost in time.

A penny for your thoughts, a dime for your mind, happiness is ubiquitous, but no one can find.

From the start, the source of light that shines through the confines of my heart, was from the ambition to create a legacy I can be proud of before my physical shrine begins to fall apart.

A legacy that’s mine, one that impacts the Earth in such a way people will realize that there is a fine line between what is real and what we each believe in. That each of our beliefs are different shades of the same reality, and as long as we continue to just see through one or a few shades, we will always be blind.

Journeys: Free-verse

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As I reside inside the esoteric abyss that was my mind, I delve into

the cerebral confines of my prodigious psyche, frantically searching

for the ostensible truth that lay behind the translucent veil that

shines just beneath my reach like a omnipotent treasure lying under

the beach, as I vociferously desired to find. Knowledge is my

spiritual shrine that I seek as every lesson life teaches until death

reaps the immaculate pieces of my life, mind and soul, just as a

puppeteer ultimately loses control and detaches his lines into the

creases of life’s threshold, only increasing the population’s

staggering toll and sending his minions on a destined trip to the

underground mines of the physical realm, and they eagerly await

their future as if their fate’s are paused–put on hold. What is the

the light that illuminates the shadows that dwell and pollute the

night, what makes the third eye–the pineal gland–gain so much

insight? As one continues to understand, one travels down the road

of an open-minded man and realizes that the answers to life is not

always black and white, that more than one path can come to

spontaneous fruition and take flight like a single strand of hair

derived out of a thousand, that there may not always be a sole lucid

reason, a wrong or a right. A Yin and Yang lies beneath every

treason for we all have rampant demons to battle and fight, and

as the natural world turns, one realizes that humans vary like the

very seasons, we all grow like a perpetual fire that forever burns.

Life: The ramblings of a warrior, as we all are

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I frantically cling to life like a rapacious beast that defies its own preordained timeline, teetering between the narrow threshold of this realm and the enigmatic afterlife.

As I continue to desperately struggle, attempting to maintain my decaying presence in this world, I find myself constantly pondering over one question: “What am I even living for?” I habitually ask myself in my perpetual, forlorn mind.

What was my purpose for battling death so vehemently? What is the purpose of life itself? What is hidden within the deep crevices of my psyche that compels me to endeavor through life’s many catastrophes? More importantly, why do I desire to live through the tragedies of this world?

I fought to survive, I fought to keep myself and my loved ones alive like a burning flame that began to gradually dwindle and recede into a glowing ember, and yet, I did not know the reason why. As cataclysmic wars ensued, fortresses ultimately crumbled, and lives fatally ruined among the turbulent chaos like apathetic tornadoes ravaging a village and leaving nothing behind as it departed, I began to realize the truth as if it was a random epiphany: I discovered my purpose to live a long time ago.

I wondered, “Isn’t finding my purpose to live, my purpose in life?” I desired to know why I was brought into this world, I desired to know how my actions, my ostensible achievements and regrettable transgressions, affected this world, I wanted to know what all this struggling was for. Maybe looking for my purpose, the reason why I struggle, is the very quintessence of living. Maybe I believe some sort of serendipity will occur if I continue to walk forward with hope and perseverance as I always have. Maybe I believe I can give the world a transcending metanoia of which no one has ever seen, and will change for the better, maybe I believe that happiness and satisfaction for all the obstacles that I have been forced to overcome is awaiting at the end of my path, maybe I believe there is happiness and satisfaction along the way to the end, maybe I believe there is a path with an end to walk towards to.

Whatever the answer to this stifling enigma was, I knew I would keep fighting to live until my physical body broke down into dust, as I always have, and that, to me, is life.

Morning Brainstorms

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Have you ever wanted to be free? Have you ever wanted to be free of wanting to be free? Some people don’t even understand what freedom actually is, and can we blame them? If they have never seen the true epitome of freedom, how would they desire to seek it? Freedom, like many concepts, was created out of the abyss of oblivion by humans, so it is reasonable that with this one dynamic word brings contrasting meanings to each of our sub consciousness. Some perceive freedom as a spiritual state of mind while others view it to be physically free. Is there no wrong answer? Is there no right answer? Should these kinds of questions not have an answer at all? Wait, what are “these kinds of questions”? Did my mind automatically assimilate this question into a preexisting category? I find it odd that I don’t even know which category these sort of questions would fall under in my mind’s organized files. Are these concepts filed under “Freedom”, “Life”, “Man-made concepts”, or “Random, annoying thoughts that exist solely to confuse me.”? It’s obvious to me that my mind has been severely altered since I was in my senior year of high school. Yes, in Westmon High, Such questions would never invade my brain like this. It feels like it had only been a short time since my only worries were math tests and homework. I guess this is what they call “growth”. As we mature, all our personalities adjust somewhat, don’t they? Looking at myself now, I can easily say that I am proud of who I have become.

Nowadays, I seldom take the time to look at my life so far. I never really shift back in time and take a second peek at my many accomplishments, failures, or regrets. Appreciating nature and the small things in my life was also something that barely occurs. Maybe once a month, some mysterious entity would seize my body and force me to halt, dead in my tracks, and would casually turn my head to gaze into a collage of gentle red and orange that gently sits upon the horizon, showing the Earth’s inhabitants a its last, mystical rays of light for the day. Or I would sporadically, yet peacefully glance at minuscule insects that gradually struggle to climb a lush, but insignificant vine, leading up to an old tree that’s lived a century old, or the unknown spirit would just bring me to a standstill, and I would randomly conjure up abstract ideas and thoughts that would always revolve around life.  This spirit is probably a failsafe program that was produced to keep myself in check, don’t you think? I mean, every time I think that I’ve’ve done or learned something in my experiences, there’s always something that makes me think that I haven’t done or learned anything at all!

Maybe it isn’t my inner spirit that spits in my face, but the universe itself that feels genuine euphoria when it makes me continue to move forward in life… Or just wants to see me cry.  I guess that’s a good thing though. Because of the omnipotent universe, I always realize that I want to get better in my perception. I love the self-satisfaction of progressing through one’s wall of limitations. To break the boundaries of even one’s own expectations. Through all of these thoughts, another idea manages to squirm its way into my mind. Is this really the universe’s true motives? Wait… What is the universe for that matter? Is it fate that steers all life into its desired path? Is it God that governs over all living beings? Does everything really happen for a reason?

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