Morning Brainstorms


Have you ever wanted to be free? Have you ever wanted to be free of wanting to be free? Some people don’t even understand what freedom actually is, and can we blame them? If they have never seen the true epitome of freedom, how would they desire to seek it? Freedom, like many concepts, was created out of the abyss of oblivion by humans, so it is reasonable that with this one dynamic word brings contrasting meanings to each of our sub consciousness. Some perceive freedom as a spiritual state of mind while others view it to be physically free. Is there no wrong answer? Is there no right answer? Should these kinds of questions not have an answer at all? Wait, what are “these kinds of questions”? Did my mind automatically assimilate this question into a preexisting category? I find it odd that I don’t even know which category these sort of questions would fall under in my mind’s organized files. Are these concepts filed under “Freedom”, “Life”, “Man-made concepts”, or “Random, annoying thoughts that exist solely to confuse me.”? It’s obvious to me that my mind has been severely altered since I was in my senior year of high school. Yes, in Westmon High, Such questions would never invade my brain like this. It feels like it had only been a short time since my only worries were math tests and homework. I guess this is what they call “growth”. As we mature, all our personalities adjust somewhat, don’t they? Looking at myself now, I can easily say that I am proud of who I have become.

Nowadays, I seldom take the time to look at my life so far. I never really shift back in time and take a second peek at my many accomplishments, failures, or regrets. Appreciating nature and the small things in my life was also something that barely occurs. Maybe once a month, some mysterious entity would seize my body and force me to halt, dead in my tracks, and would casually turn my head to gaze into a collage of gentle red and orange that gently sits upon the horizon, showing the Earth’s inhabitants a its last, mystical rays of light for the day. Or I would sporadically, yet peacefully glance at minuscule insects that gradually struggle to climb a lush, but insignificant vine, leading up to an old tree that’s lived a century old, or the unknown spirit would just bring me to a standstill, and I would randomly conjure up abstract ideas and thoughts that would always revolve around life.  This spirit is probably a failsafe program that was produced to keep myself in check, don’t you think? I mean, every time I think that I’ve’ve done or learned something in my experiences, there’s always something that makes me think that I haven’t done or learned anything at all!

Maybe it isn’t my inner spirit that spits in my face, but the universe itself that feels genuine euphoria when it makes me continue to move forward in life… Or just wants to see me cry.  I guess that’s a good thing though. Because of the omnipotent universe, I always realize that I want to get better in my perception. I love the self-satisfaction of progressing through one’s wall of limitations. To break the boundaries of even one’s own expectations. Through all of these thoughts, another idea manages to squirm its way into my mind. Is this really the universe’s true motives? Wait… What is the universe for that matter? Is it fate that steers all life into its desired path? Is it God that governs over all living beings? Does everything really happen for a reason?

2 thoughts on “Morning Brainstorms

  1. Great questions, the persistent and enduring existential ones. Thanks for sharing. You write well with a graceful flow of fluid thoughts and free associations, the kind that come to us in that primal and liminal state of highened awareness and vivid perception between waking and sleeping.

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